Naptime

I'm tired and I'm at work. It's very annoying that I have to be at work today. I haven't worked on Good Friday in the past 3 years but this year they decided that we get to work today. I really am hating working here, I don't see me lasting all that much longer. I forgot my purse this morning too. I went to McDonalds this am before work and ordered my food and then got up to the window and had to tell them that I had to cancel :( that sucked. D came over last night and we talked a little bit. Things seem to be going a bit better in that department. I still wouldn't sleep with him though. He was begging for me to practically but I said no. I just don't have that drive anymore I guess. It happens when pregnant Get used to it! I just was so tired. Lately after I get Lilly to sleep all I want to do is sleep myself. D has today off work. I wonder if he's at my house..I kind of regret giving him a key. I don't like him there when I'm not there. I have no idea why. I think it's because I'm stuck at work and he gets to be there where he's not even paying the rent, electricity or nothing. I just get worked up about that type of thing and money. I shouldn't but I do because of the stupid X. I hate him so much. He has fucked me up royally and really is making it hard for me to have a solid relationship again. it sucks. Maybe one day i'll get over it, who knows. I'm going to look at that house tomorrow, I can't wait. I really would love a house to call my own and somewhere to call HOME. I haven't been able to do that in almost 10 years..yikes. I feel kinda homey in my apartment now but it's too small! it's tiny! My room is jam packed with stuff, it's not even like a room in there. I hate it. L's room is perfect and the living room is too crowded and kitchen is just annoying. I HATE the bathroom and everything about it. My Easter plans are pretty boring. I am going to take L to church Sunday morning and then my mom is having people over for breakfast after that. That's it. I got L a little basket and will put some candy in it and a little care bear doll thing. I want to get her something else yet but haven't decided what. Maybe a movie? or some sort of toy. She is terrified of the Easter Bunny though, had a nightmare about him and everything. So i don't think I'll be telling her that the Easter Bunny is coming to our house. Poor L is at daycare today when the place is so empty! It's deserted because most parents have the day off today. Not me! My mom is hopefully going to be picking up L this evening from school then I don't have to worry about it. That is always nice. I'm SO tired. Still 2 hours left of work, I have no idea how I'm going to get by. I need a nap so badly. It's not fair that I'm stuck here. I'm looking at slings now too for the baby. I think that would be a neat thing to have, although they are like $55 just the ones that I seen. Ugh. That's too pricey for my blood, but I do really want one! I think it would be helpful. And I still want to do the cloth diapering thing too. and glass bottles! Wow I really don't have much to talk about. I feel like there is a lot going on in my head though. Next week I have appointments on Tuesday and Thursday. I made it to the bank yesterday so I got Tuesdays appointment all taken care of phew. I've been thinking a bit about baby names. The only input D has given was the name Michael Jordan, and he was only kidding. So poo on him. I like Henry for a boy and Cecelia for a girl. :) We'll see if I get my way. There was a couple that I liked for boys, but for girls that is really the only name I like right now. who knows though. Well, not much else to say right now, I'm sure come monday I will have more stuff to say, I hope. Until next time.