good news

My Colpo went fine. The Dr. neglected to inform me that they would not be doing the invasive test since I am prego. So they just looked at my cervix under the light and did not find any white spots, which is so great news and a big sigh of relief. So it went well! Now I just have to have a re-pap in July and they will look at the cervix under the light again too. so phew....I was really scared! Next Weds I find out the baby's sex! I can't wait! I wonder what I'm having!!! I want another girl, I think that would be sweet, but I know D wants a boy and it would be great to give him his boy too. We'll see. I can now breathe and relax, I was really worried about the damn colp. grrrr. I'm so happy it's overwith! D and I were fighting pretty bad this weekend. I don't know why I have to open my fat mouth sometimes. I said some things that I now regret..something along the lines of..that is not being a father. re: how he handled something with his daughter. I regret saying that. He's a good father, it just worries me that A is so scared of him and is afraid to even ask him things half the time..makes me wonder what he's done to her in the past. Saturday night she was up coughing at about 1:30 AM and it woke me up so i asked D to go check on her and maybe get her some water. His reply was..if you are so concerned you go check on her. UGH. So I just rolled over. The coughing continues. He then yells out to her..A, quit coughing! I can tell you are faking!..I was so pissed. At that point the coughing subsides but I could tell that she was trying not to cough so that it wouldn't piss her dad off. I wanted to cry. I then got up to pee, came back and told him forget it, I don't want to live with you, If this is how you are going to be with our child then it's not worth it, I can do this on my own, etc, etc. By 8am they were gone. He's the type that just leaves and let's us both cool down. I was pissed though! I still am! I think it's complete bullshit that he would make his 5yr old sit out there alone and not even go comfort her. :( Last night he came over to discuss 'us' and he brought it up that what happens between him and A his none of my business. Ugh..I just said I resented that and threw it in his face that was happens with L and I then is none of his business either! How insensitive can you possibly be? I just don't see us comprimising at ALL here. I honestly don't know what the end result will be but I honestly DO want to work it out and try and be together, and HAPPY damnit. He told me last night that he was done with me, but I emailed this morning apologizing so hopefully tonight things will be better. I hope so anyway. I detest fighting and don't want to be that kind of couple. I won't be. I don't need my kids growing up in that type of environment. So we'll see. I know I was stressed all weekend about this colp today and then moving..I have barely started! then to top it off we have to fight. Not a good weekend really. I wish he understood that i have a lot on my plate and can't always be in a good mood..especially being pregnant! I'm not super woman! Ugh. My dad is picking L up tonight so that is awesome! He will probably take us to dinner also so that will be nice.