I am bored

Ok, so my job has got to be the easiest, but most boring of all jobs. Some days I am crazy busy, but then others I sit here and contemplate my existance in this cubicle. Everything is done. Why are my co-workers so far behind..I'm ahead of schedule. Let's see here, so this weekend D has A. He didn't have her last weekend due to her spending the weekend at a friend's house, so now we get her two weekends in a row, this weekend and next weekend. Then for 2 weeks in August. Sigh. I really don't want to be the mean stepmother, but seriously, the kid can drive me insane. Not to mention she is extremely bossy toward L. What happened to that sweet little 5 year old I met nearly a year ago. She's 6 now I guess is what happened. Also when she is in town my house gets completely trashed, I'm guessing because her and L tear it up, but I just don't get it. and I hate it. Maybe i will go and stay at my mom's house for the weekend? It sounds nice right about now. I just need a break from D and a break from A is nice too. I haven't seen her since the 4th of July but I dread the thought of her coming. I would never say these words out loud and I regrettably don't like thinking them. I just think it's best to put it down somewhere so that I don't completely lose my mind. Maybe I will go to my moms. My mom is going to her bf's house. They still broke up, but they are going to still see eachother - whatever the hell that means. So she is going to stay with him all weekend so her house will be free. I might have to do that in order to avoid a fight with D, since we always fight when A is in town for one reason or another. L adores A though and that is cute. She really missed her this last gap of time and brings her up quite a bit. So I will still need to make sure they get some time to hang out. However, I hate how if L has a toy, then all of a sudden A just HAS to have it. shouldn't L be the one that is like that? L is the 2 year old, yet A is the one playing the part. Also if A sees something she wants or wants to look at, she always asks, "what is that?" looking at a peice of cake, as if she doesn't know what a peice of cake is. Why not just ask for a peice of cake instead of playing dumb. Ok I'm done venting about it, it just irks me. I made A a frame that has a picture of her and her daddy from up at the lake in it. I'm going to have her take it to her mom's house so she has a picture to see when her dad isn't there..it's cute. I still have a stomache ache about L's dad and the whole child support stuff..still no answers really. My mom works for the courts and I guess she is talking to some guy more about it today so we can get some answers, I'm still so afraid and still so sick to my stomache and wish this wasn't happening. I had some really crazy fucked up dreams last night. I ended up in L's bed because she was coughing so hard I was paranoid, so I slept in the bed below hers just to keep an eye on her. I slept great, but just weird dreams. I had my ultrasound yesterday! The baby looks great - she is so cute. and she is healthy which is the best part of all! They said she's about 3lbs 11oz's right now, and is about 45% for weight - so she is average - yay. She looks just like L - it's kinda creepy. I can't imagine having 2 girls. It makes me happy in so many ways, but also sad too. Once this baby comes it is going to be a challenge to give one on one time to L and I hate that part. I don't want her to feel replaced - ever. I want her to feel like the proud older sister. I just keep thinking - this is the last summer that it will be just L and I. I keep typing because if I don't I fear I will keel over and fall asleep. I'm exhausted. I have no idea why, I just want to sleep. I think mainly because I'm so bored today and I didn't get a lunch because I worked my lunch hour today to make up for my dr. appt yesterday. I think I will go take a stroll to the water jug, then to the bathroom, and take my sweet time. Is it 5:00 yet? Friday tomorrow thank goodness!!