It's a new day

Things seem to be going better. Not sure where I left off on the last post, but things are going good these days, at least with d. I know I ranted a bit about him in the last post. He's getting it together(maybe). We've been talking a lot. I realized quite a bit too. Like, how I haven't lived with anyone since having L, so it's kinda weird having him there now. And in my house when I was growing up my dad did everything! He cooked, cleaned, took us to school, picked us up, worked part time and still made more moolah than my mom, laundry, etc...My mom always said that they had an agreement that she would take care of the kids for the first year of our lives and then he gets them the rest of the time..I think that's total bullshit and just her excuse for why he did everything. She didn't even know how to pump her own gas until the divorce 3 years ago. She was totally reliant on my father. She did do some stuff, I can't give her no credit, but just in a nutshell when looking back, I see my father as doing most everything. Therefore, that sucks for whatever guy wants to be in my life because what am I going to expect from them? Um, everything! I didn't explain this all to D yet, but I intend to tell him that story of my childhood so then maybe he will get it more..I'm going to try and help and give my help the best that I can now that i've pinpointed the problem, because I will not use my parent's mistakes as my excuses in life that's for damn sure. After talking to d some more though I think he realized that he needs to help out more too and kind of do his share..we are both the adults and he is not a child that I am going to clean up after, etc. He has A this weekend and that makes me so stressed..not b/c of her, but b/c we ALWAYS fight when she is in town and she is staying until Monday. So I am trying my hardest to plan stuff to do all weekend so that we have no time to fight and the weekend kind of just goes by and we have a nice time. We'll see. A war could be in the future though. Tonight I plan on taking the kids to go and buy some play-doh so that will be fun i hope. Then perhaps grab something for dinner. Tomorrow I'm planning on taking them to the zoo( with D too of course). Then I'm hopefully going out with Stacie in the evening while d watches the kids. I needed at least a couple hours away from the house so I don't go too nutso. My mom is outta town all weekend so no escaping to her house this time. Then Sunday we are going to have a bbq and we have a couple friends coming over for that! So that will be nice and relaxing hopefully..so Saturday we will go and buy the stuff for that as well. Hm. Then Sunday night I have nothing, (uh-0h), need to plan something otherwise this is when the fight will happen. Monday no plans either besides driving A home. she lives about 25 minutes away. It's supposed to thunderstorm on Monday anyways. I really need new bras so maybe I will try and go out shopping on Sunday? I told D that if he wants to go out on Fri or Sun night since I'm getting to go out on Sat, then he can. So not sure, but he mentioned going fishing on Saturday morning, but that isn't at night and I'd much rather watch the kids at night when it's close to bed, like he will be, other than watch them for hours and hours in the am, ya know? Oh well! This could cause a fight also, haha, can you tell I'm paranoid about having a fight? I wish I didn't have to worry about this or that this wasn't an issue! ugh! So, I have stomache issues majorly this week. It all started on I think it was Tues or Wed? I had horrid lower back pain, which i've had for weeks now, but then add on, chills, cramping in the front, and achey and I thought it could be my kidneys. So I went to the doc and they said that it was nothing pregnancy related after they tapped on my back and did a full cervical check to make sure of no preterm labor. So that was a sigh of relief. said it was probably just a virus going around. That night I was bed ridden just felt like ass basically. Then in the morning it started again, I thought it was morning sickness, I was puking as well as stuff coming out of the other end as well. yuck. Now it's Friday and I still am having the same issue, just not puking so much. Not sure if I should call the dr yet or not? I am guessing it's just some sort of virus though so probably not anything to get too concerned about. Except I have no appetite and don't want to eat food because of how my stomache will feel. So I've been living off of smoothies, slurpees, kool-aid and juicy juice. I really want some popsicles. I must say that the day I left work early to go to the doc, D gets out of work at 3pm, so he took care of me. He went out and bought me some soup at this wonderful soup restaurant and then to the store to get me tylenol since all we had was motrin and apparently that is a no no while prego. So he was being wonderful with me. He's a great guy and i really shouldn't bitch so much. I blame the pregnancy though because we were not fighting this much pre-pregnancy, however, we only knew eachother like 3 or 4 months before I got pregnant so not sure if that says anything either. Oh well, I'm not going to read in to it and I still have hope that all will work out. So far so good is all I keep saying. Not sure if I ever mentioned that he got me a ring. It's not an engagement ring, but a white gold ring with an emerald in the middle of a couple diamonds, it's really pretty. I asked if it was a promise ring and he said sure, it can be, haha, so not sure what that means, but promise rings are pretty much bullshit anyways. That reminds me, Lilly said bullshit the other day in the same context as I would say it, I was laughing hysterically at her and so now that she got the good reaction she tends to say it more than she should! Oooops. I need to stop swearing in front of her, but it's so hard. I'll just have to teach her what is right to say and what is wrong, even if mommy sometimes slips and says it. When I was throwing up the other morning she came in and asked if I would like some water. It was so adorable to see her being so sensitive to me being sick. I have never seen her like that! She's really turning in to a person! I need to start getting baby things ready for the new baby, I'm starting to want to nest I think, I'm making checklists in my head of things I need to do/get still, hahhaa..the joys of being a woman.