Goodbye Murfy.

My mom had my dog put to sleep on the 8th and I was less than thrilled. I understand that the dog was puking and shitting all over the house, but she didn't even let a vet examine her, she just took her to the animal control and had her put down. I got this yorkie when I was 14 and she was the loyalest, bestest dog in the world. I guess I could have taken the dog, but I was selfish and didn't want her puking and shitting all over my house either, so I didn't stop my mom from doing it. Now L is looking for her and asking for her and it's so sad. I just told her that she went bye-bye and is in heaven now. ugh. It's weird when a pet goes. It's sad like a part of your life is now gone. Definitely not as heavy as when a close human goes, but still a loss and it sucks. This weekend was very eventful and very wonderful. Minus the fights that D and I got in to. Main one being, he had A this weekend. Seems like everytime she is in we fight. Not saying I blame her, but our fights always happen when she is in and then as soon as she is gone we are back to normal again. What is up with that!? She's 5 and is a sweetheart, just a normal 5 year old that asks a billion questions and is always in your face, but she's sweet at least. D left me alone with her and L while he was in the bedroom sleeping and then watching tv. I wouldn't of minded but then the hours past and I had been up with them since 7am and going a bit nutty. Then the longer he left me with them the more angry I got. He never lets me sleep in, let alone watch tv in the bedroom while he tends to L. Never. So I got pissed. I went in the bedroom and told him I was taking L and we were going out for a bit. He asked why and I said, because you can go take care of your daughter for awhile, weekends are your time with her, I'm not going to sit and handle both of them while you are in here doing whatever when you never give me that type of a break. He thinks his daughter is completely self sufficient so whenever I say stuff like help me or something he always says, she can do that on her own ,or she is fine by herself..but what he doesn't get is that I have the both of them and she acts completely different around me than around him. Around me she acts more like a kid and around him she is just very obedient and of course he sees her being some self sufficient person because that's how she is around him because that's how he wants her to be. Ugh..it all pisses me off and he doesn't realize that she just needs his presense and doesn't need to be pawned off on his girlfriend! ok rant over. Oh but one other thing. So L and I took off and went to the store and then to my mom's house for the afternoon and he didn't talk to me all day, then came home at around 7pm with no A. I asked where she was and he said she was spending the night at his aunt's house(his previous residence before moving in with us). I felt kinda bad then, as if it was my fault that he didn't have her come back, but he assured me that she wanted to stay there. For some reason I feel like he is not very close with his daughter, and that makes me sad. I wish they had a better relationship..sometimes it seems like his relationship with L is better than his relationship with A. Ok anyway, so I got things all ready for the garage sale my mom is having this weekend! wahoo, some extra cash headed my way! and some shit cleared outta my house too. I feel so much better. I got the nursery all cleaned out on Saturday while D was mia. Now it is a toyroom for L and I seriously have no clue where I will put L's toys once this new baby arrives! But L's room and baby's room are clean, that is all that matters, and I feel like my house is finally in order - except for the outside. This weekend between garage sale, D and I are going to the greenhouse to buy some flowers so I can plant my flower garden finally, I have been looking forward to this for so long!! I can't wait! The weather here really sucks, it rained all day yesterday and was freezing. I did have a lovely Mother's Day though!!! I woke up Sunday still disgruntled with D from our fight the day before. He got up around 9 and came out and kissed me on the cheeek and said Happy Mother's Day. wow he remembered, I was impressed! Then he told me that he was taking the pop cans back and L really wanted to go so they went and I got to take a shower kid-free so that was wonderful in itself. Anyone that has kids would understand the greatness of taking a kid-free shower! Then I could clean up the house a bit and lay down just intime for L to come barging in saying over and over, "Happy Mother's Day!" she was carrying this huge Lily! It was beautiful! Then D gave me a hug and showed me the pink rose he was holding behind his back for me. Awe, what a sweetheart! Later that day we went to his sister's farm with A and L and L loved seeing all of the cows and chickens. Then D stopped at the store quick and bought some flowers, which I thought might be for A's mom or maybe his aunt, he wouldn't say. So then we get to the cemetary. I didn't realize where his mom was buried as I had never been there with him, so it was quite emotional and I saw on the grave that she was born in 1958 which is 3 years younger than my own mother. He really has not fully coped from the loss of his mother and it's hard for me to even know what to do or say. At first he asked if I was coming out of the car and I just shook my head no. I thought maybe he would want to say a few words to her. Then I got out of the car and went and checked it out quick and then back to the car. It was sweet to see all the men at the cemetary visiting lost loved ones. I felt special that D included me with the visit to his mother, I wish I could have met this lady. She died in 2003. After his sister's house we went to my mom's house and ate dinner, which is a big deal because D never comes to my mom's house or wants to visit with my family, but I guess he is starting to come around a little bit because he came this time! woo hoo! We got things ready for the garage sale and then left my mom's house. I gave L a bath and got her in bed by 8:30 and then we watched the movie Arachnaphobia! It was a good movie, it's old but I hadn't seen it before and got it through my netflix account. So all in all it was a great Mother's Day and I couldn't have asked for better people to spend it with. D does things to piss me off, but he always more than makes up for it somehow..is that good or bad? Right now I'm happy though so that's all that matters right? Baby is sitting directly on my bladder I do believe and my lower back is just killin me! But I'm managing. I don't even want to walk though even though I know it's whats best. Lunch time so I gotta go!