ick.

I saw Chris this past Saturday at his grandparents house with L and my dad went too. It was HORRIBLE. Chris makes me ill. The sight of him alone makes my stomache turn, and then he speaks. He has not a clue on what he is doing with L. He has not a clue in regards to anything. We get there and sit on the couch. L is clinging to me. Chris finally decides, after about 15 minutes, to go and get some legos. He brings them over to her and walks back to the other side of the room. She asks him to play with her. He ignores her. So she asks me to play with her. So I get down on the floor and start playing with her, building castles and such. About 20 more minutes later, he finally comes over and starts to build something with us. Then she decides she doesn't want to do that anymore so then he starts feeding her all this candy. It was around lunch time and he had nothing for her to eat. Had no toys for her to play with besides these 20 year old dusty legos. At this point I'm just sitting on the couch trying not to look at him. So then I see the lamp that I bought him for Christmas nearly 5 years ago sitting on his grandparents end table. nice. Oh and to make it better, it's a Dale Earnhart Jr. lamp. Anyway, then they go to the back bedroom and I can hear him taking all sorts of pictures of her, etc, then she starts coloring. Well she calls him Chris and he gets all mad at her, saying "who am I, what's my name?" "that's DAD to you." So she calls him daddy a couple of times but then again calls him Chris later and he doesn't even acknowledge her and throws a fit that she won't call him dad! Um, hello? YOU ARE NOT HER DAD! ugh. He has no clue!!!! I didn't say anything, God I wanted to. I stopped myself though. So then around 1 I finally get up and tell him that if he wants to hang out longer he will need to feed her lunch. So he let us go. Nice parenting right there! Then he set something up with my dad to see L again on Tuesday night. So my dad and his gf took L on Tuesday to see him again, Dad said that this time was much worse. First of all, L didn't even want to go see Chris. She kept whining and said she wanted to stay home with mommy. So I had to promise her ice cream for her return. So then I guess they got there and Chris was just sitting in a chair watching TV and didn't pay any attention to L at all. My dad said they sat there for an hour just hanging out with L, by themselves! Chris doesn't get it at all. It's almost like he is expecting L to make the first move or something. He didn't have any new toys there for her, no snacks, no clothes, no nothing. She has never gotten anything from this boy. Nothing. He's not working. I haven't gotten any child support since Feb. and that was for a total amt of $169, which doesn't even buy a weeks worth of day care. He is supposed to start taking parenting classes, per the order of the judge. I am not sure if I am supposed to keep having play dates like this until he starts or if I don't have to. I have no idea. I am just complying right now because if this thing goes to trial I do not want anything to look bad on my part. Although I am going to tell Chris that I am not doing this twice a week bullshit. He can see her every other Saturday. that's enough right now. L doesn't even know him, or interact with him. at all. It really does make my heart hurt and ache for her. I wish she had a great dad. But she will just have to settle for a great mom and all I can do is my best. It's been difficult through the years having to fill both roles. I am planning to write a little journal for L. Telling her specifically all the details with Chris. Only because one day I anticipate him telling her that the only reason he could never see her was because of her mom. And when that day comes, I will simply hand her the journal.