It's cold out

I decided that I needed to talk things out with D and start getting the help that I desperately need. So basically I told him that if he doesn't start helping more then I'm done. I told him that it's hard for me to love someone that is not in this equally with me. It was hard to say the things I said, but I got it out. We are both really shy so I think it's hard for either of us to bring up any issues. He didn't really say too much, but he did show me things. He started helping more this weekend, and gave me a break. I went tanning on Saturday, I hadn't been to the tanner in about 6 years. It felt good and I really needed the sun light, thought maybe I was having some winter blues, so that helped me feel better. My friend has the Wii Fit so I played on that also this weekend and it made me feel good to get my body moving again. My other friend and I are going to do a bootcamp class Feb. 19th to help whip us in to shape. I am still up 30lbs since the pregnancy. I am at 209lbs which is completely unacceptable! The weight gain, crappy diet, no energy, lack of sleep, lack of thyroid meds, dealing with baby and 3 year old, yeah enough to make me feel extremely yucky and dark. Chris didn't come and see L this weekend. He said he was working late on Friday night and was too tired. So I guess he is working, but I still haven't seen any child support? Oh well. Nice excuse for him not to show up. I guess at least he called 1 hour before we were supposed to meet up with him. I have insurance again finally! I have about 5 appointments I need to make now! Surgery scheduled for cervical cone biopsy thing. Teeth cleaning. Endocrinologist. Dermatologist. Eye Doc. Yeah, I'm a little behind on everything, luckily I have already acrued some vacation time through my job. So D's ex wife is pregnant. A's mom. I guess she is 3 months along already. Not really sure how I feel about it. I guess it's no big deal. Just a lot for A to deal with. Then L will probably be jealous when A is talking about her new sibling and L doesn't even get to see them. Or maybe it won't even be a big deal at all. We shall see. L has been doing better behaviorial wise. My mom is the one who pointed out that when L eats fruit snacks(or basically anything with red dye in it) that is when she acts out the worst. So I have really tried limiting that in her diet and I've noticed a drastic change. Maybe it is just coincidence and maybe this phase in her life is just ending, but she has been a breeze lately and I've found things going much more smoothly in that area. I need to thank my mom's co-worker for this one for mentioning the red dye thing. I would have NEVER thought of that! And I will leave you with a funny(not ha-ha) work story. I work where clients have to be in classrooms everyday for a certain amount of hours so long as they want their welfare checks. Well, we had 2 girls and 1 guy in the class and both girls were pregnant by the 1 guy. All 3 of them were in the class. The cops ended up getting called because the 2 girls were fighting pretty bad. I work in a really bad area of town. Yes, this is where I work. Jerry Springer. This is not unusual either, that is the sad thing. I feel mostly for the children. And then these kids are kids themselves. It's hard to see such horrible cases. I'm applying for a management position that just opened up so I'm kinda excited to see if I get it.