war and peace

So peaceful. Lately things are doing good in regards to the pregnancy, D. He is all moved out except for a few items which I have boxed up and in the laundry room. I have the greatest friend ever. She is someone I rarely see, but she always seems to be there in my time of need. She came for the entire weekend last weekend. She mopped my kitchen, helped with the carpet scrubbing, helped with the organizing. My house feels like mine again and I really have her to thank. I would have never been motivated to do it all if it wasn't for her. I'm so grateful. I love my house right now. I have it the way I want it, the way it should have been from the beginning. He really had a lot of shit in my house! It feels good to be free of it. We are getting along better than ever. He's been coming over quite regularly. Mowed my grass. Still has not given me any money in a month. But at least being there for us. We have been nice to eachother and I love it. If I want him to leave and go home, I ask him to, it's wonderful. So far so good. Step by step. Next Thursday will be L's first supervised visit with Chris. I'm nervous for her. Yesterday I was showing her her baby book. We came across a picture of Chris and I and she asks, "who's that guy?" so I tell her that it's her dad Chris and she says, "Christa??" which is the name of my dad's xgirlfriend. Wow. She doesn't even remember Chris, or if she does it's vague. I feel so bad. I wonder how the observing parenting time will go. How she will act/react? or him too..he's so terrible when it's me with her and him, he ignores her and barely talks to her, I can't even imagine how he will interact with her one on one! I won't know because I can't be in the room. That makes me sad. I hope she does okay, I'm super nervous. I HATE that this is happening. And what is it happening for? He doesn't all of a sudden care, because if he did he'd be calling me and wanting to see her more. I just don't get it. Is he doing it just to make my life a living hell since he all of a sudden has to pay child support? makes me want to puke just thinking about it. gr.