It's a BOY

I found out yesterday I'm having a boy. It's a strange feeling. Never would have guessed it. I was in shock for a bit. When she told me I blurted out, "It's a BOY?" then I started bawling, it was an emotion I had never felt before, it was a happy cry. The nurse was saying, "oh don't worry you will get used to it." I had to explain to her it was a happy cry. I'm going to have a son. I'm so excited! and ready to go shopping! I will be 19 weeks tomorrow, time seems to be flying by. No wonder it's a boy, I haven't been sick at all this entire pregnancy. I have no symptoms of pregnancy, can't even feel baby moving yet! My office finally found out yesterday too. I told one person, because they asked me, and now everyone knows...they love to talk around here. I don't mind though since now I can wear my maternity clothes proudly, instead of trying to cover it up. D is now gone. His stuff, however, is not. He took his dresser and some things. but the majority of it is still laying around. Not to mention his hideous pink recliner. He said I can just throw it out, well thanks now I have to find someone to haul it to a dumpster. ugh. He's staying with his aunt for now and apparently will be getting a storage unit soon and wants me to hold on to all his stuff until then. I told him to put it all in the shed, I do not want all his crap in my house! But he is being good about everything and we have been very civilized. Not at all how it played out when Chris moved out. We are actually staying friends and don't hate eachother. I'm kind of loving it. I hope it can stay this way!!! Speaking of Chris. I got a phone call from child services yesterday stating that Chris has moved back to the state and wants to set up his supervised visits now. I tried calling them back but haven't gotten to speak with them yet. I'm just in shock that they are letting him do this now. He's not going to just silently go away like I had hoped. I don't know for sure if he's going to follow through on all this bs, but the point is, he's throwing L for a loop because he hasn't been around since March and now is popping back up. L doesn't bring him up. ever. In fact, she thinks my dad is her dad. I detest that Chris is such a half-assed dad. I don't want that for L at all and I don't think it's fair that I have to cooperate with it because the stupid state is making me. What happened to this being a free country. ugh. I digress. But I know in the long run this isn't about me, it's about L and her dad. But come on, this state allows drug dealing criminals get partial custody of their children, I have no fight here, I'm doomed to send L off with this asshole at some point and that scares the shit out of me. Just thinking about her with him alone scares me. I hate that he keeps haunting me.