Visit #4

Just wanted to document it somewhere. Before we left when I was explaining where we were going L told me, "D and Chris are both my dads" and I said, yes you can have more than one dad, that's fine. and she said, "I want D to be my daddy." It broke my heart and I wasn't sure what to say. We get there and she was clingy again but I reassured her that everything was fine, pried her fingers from myself and walked out of the room, I was a lot more strong. My dad was there as well so that helped me from falling apart in the waiting room. The lady that normally does the visits was not there so her supervisor supervised the visit and I was happy with that! She actually sat down with her notebook and it was much more professional! So that was a relief. When I was trying to get L to let go of me the lady said something like, "come on, dad" because he was just standing there with his hands in his pocket not saying a word. Of course an hour later when they came out he was being all fake and not even acting himself. L can see right through him though. She did give him a hug and a kiss on the lips though, YELCK! I almost puked. I hate that he walks out with us too..makes me feel edgey. I guess we shall see what next week brings. L hasn't said a word about last nights visit. Her behavior sure has changed since this all started though. I hate that. Not to mention she's not sleeping anymore either and she seems to be peeing more frequently also. Not sure if that is normal or not, my dad says it's because she's scared. Not sure how accurate that is! My dad says if he really loved her he would just walk away, if he realized what this is doing to her. He's too in to himself to care what this is doing to her..he's only thinking of himself and what he needs and wants. He's human, but a pityful excuse for one. I was as pleasant as I could be though and had no anxiety, I was much more calm, but there was no need for me to speak to him this time.